07 March 2008

What Sick Looks Like Over Here

Scene 1: The Kitchen

me: I am so sick of water! Water! Ugh!
Noah: Do you want some juice or tea? Tea disguising water?
me: Okay.

Noah: What do you want to eat?
me: Another blueberry fudgy wudgy brownie.
Noah: Really?
me: Yes. But I can be convinced.
Noah: How about box 'n' cheese? With whole milk?
me: Yeah okay.

(two hours later)
me: Is all the mac gone?


Scene 2: The Main Room

me: I am so cold!
Noah: It's cold-time Wifey! She's cold!
me: I am really really cold!
Noah: Do you have your down vest on? Or a hat? Or your mitts?
me: No, not yet. They depress me.

me: I will never be warm again.

(seated on couch, with kitten Eto)
me: Eto! Stop biting my sleeve! I know it's woolen and you think it's prey but IT IS MY SLEEVE!
Eto: Mraw raw roow raw rarwm! (pauses, begins biting and snarling again)

Scene 3: The Bedroom

(I sleep for four hours. Then at night, for ten more. Minimum.)

Scene 4: Downtown Champaign

me: OWWWW! My lungs hurt so bad!

(Keep in mind this is a very flat walk of a quarter-mile. My lungs are just dying.)

Scene 5: The Mirror

me: Oh my god, where did all these pimples come from? And this greasy hair? And this crazy look in my eyes? And my lips looking a little blue?
Noah: Want some more vitamin C? Maybe you should lay back down.

-----

It's been a week now, and I am worse.

3 comments:

laura said...

Dude. Stop being sick! I need my afternoon breaks back!

Christine said...

You can take them over here, while I'm napping ...

I made some blueberry vegan brownies, and they're good, but Noah thinks they need less blueberry and more butter.

We spin tomorrow at 11! Wooo! Could you, maybe, lame as this is, pick me up? Yesterday I was ready to lay down and die on South Neil. From a block.

Kristen said...

You! I don't believe you. I need data. Keep track of what you're eating and drinking - and in a scientific way! And send it to me! I want to scrutinize your sickly habits. What number have you got on your thermostat anyway? You need exercise! Iron or something! Sheesh! You cannot be sick all the time!

(exasperated love)