We are in Illinois, and goodness is there snow and wind and my very cold toes. And guess what -- I'm sick again. Though I am usually ill with something, that 'something' is usually allergies that entail congestion, inflamed sinuses, postnasal drip, burny eyes, sour stomach, maybe a headache. So it sucks, sure, but it's low-level nasty. Then there's REAL nasty, which is when my snot is not only green but also bloody and chunky, and I can't get my symptoms to calm down no matter the drugs, and I start thinking, could I have nasal polyps? Could I have a fungal infection in my sinuses? Could chronic stress (it's easing down now) contribute to my always-sickness? Why do I get every cold on the planet?
I do crab about this a lot; friends, forgive me.
I vow to:
-- do a nasal wash everyday, even on days when I'm all "bleh, saline in my nose?"
-- take my allergy meds everyday forever
-- be smarter about dust and mold; they are a big deal, and if that means a ton of laundry, or bleach, and vacuuming, it's worth it
-- consider eating illness-fighting foods consistently, rather than just feeding my stomach bread and more bread products to fight nausea
-- keep up with the tiny bit of exercise I grudgingly do
-- meditate? I hear meditating is good. But I also hear that it keeps sickness in your body if you're sick. No meditating, I guess. My breath will have to go on being without mindfulness.
2007 sucked. From start to finish. All bad. Maybe one or two good days. But dear lord, bad. Observe:
January: I apply to grad school again and doing so makes me break out in hives overnight; visit a friend and get attacked by her cat; the weekend of the attack, miss receiving an email from grad school saying "your application is incomplete and we're not considering it"
February: um, it was cold? I bet it was cold.
March: in this town, still cold; really weird department politics/confrontations/issues; work on my thesis like a madwoman; develop a strange affinity/obsession for PRISON BREAK and watch two seasons from bed, crying a little the whole time
April: I give my thesis reading; I begin to wonder why I haven't heard anything about grad school
May: hear back from grad school, and after several weeks of even more departmental drama and 10am urges for bourbon, realize I am graduating in two weeks and I have no future employment; officially freak out.
June: go to NYC with my aunts; apply for jobs; start interviews; turn 24. I still think I'm 22, not in some youthful-leaning way, more a 'where the hell did those two years go' way.
July: get hired in an office; start getting a little bit better; use the ice cream maker from my friends a LOT.
August: family drama begins
September: and continues
October: and culminates in heart-breakingly sad ways. Notice that maybe while I was going to work during this time, I have no clue about what else was happening in the world. I went to the farmer's market some weeks and then would forget all the produce and throw it all away. V. sad, for the produce. And the family.
November: knit a million Christmas presents; have grand plans for December holiday times; not so eventful.
December: Noah turns 24; Noah's mom dies; Hannukah and Christmas happen and somehow, we were in Saint Louis for a total of two weeks out of six ... we haven't spent that much time there in a long time, and STL started feeling home-like again. And so did the drive. Also, we realize how broke we are (scary, being even more broke than you thought, even when you knew you were broke and were acting broke already) and freak out a little. I start looking for a new job, or at least thinking of ways to make more money.
Phew. Glad it's over.
New year = new food.
Somewhat firm goals:
bake all our bread, or most of it
try to get one of those farmers' produce that they deliver to you things
eat awesome food that I love all the time
drink only when I want to, and only what I really want, with no settling.
Dudes, what about you?