21 January 2008

when antibiotics fail

The nurse at the walk-in clinic that prescribed yet another round of Amoxicillin for me two weeks ago said, as she wrote the script, "If you don't feel completely better when these are done, call your doctor and tell her there was a failure."


That is so much more intense than I would have thought to describe this. The meds have FAILED. Of course, what will she do? I do not know. Usually I would be prescribed Augmentin at this point, for another two weeks, at which point I would get to call and say, "Those meds also FAILED." They are always failing me.

I have ideas, though: better allergy meds so my own body stops fighting me instead of this foreign invader; a referral to an ENT dude; a scan of my head ... My new insurance is so much better than my old insurance; I feel like taking full advantage of it.

I broke out the Vicks crud the other night. So gross, so gross. And so effective at helping me sleep and wake up a little more human.

Long ago, one reflective day, I was considering all the ills I get, and saw that they were all connected by overreaction. Migraines as an overreaction in my vascular system when either a new storm front rolls in, I wake up late, I maybe eat weird things, or life is terrible. Allergies as an overreaction to dust, which will not kill me like my body believes. Raynaud's as an overreaction to cold, kicking my capillaries into freaking out that cold air is here and we must contain all body heat and never let it go. Hypoglycemia, which still feels like the fakest thing ever, as a very real overreaction to dropping blood sugar levels.

Oh dear, oh dear body, please calm down. I'm doing what I can to help you out. "Body / my house / my horse my hound" ...

In all of this, I am a knitting genius. I know my gauge, thank you! I know how to measure things! I am very pleased with the adaptation of a pattern I'm doing, but will keep it under wraps for a little bit longer, until it is delivered to its intended host!

Very soon, I will start some lovely-sounding mittens, socks that may or may not kill my desire to knit socks (which I think I'll love doing), maybe a huge scarf for myself in bulky yarn, a hat for Noah with the leftover alpaca from his Fibonacci scarf ...

Sigh, being. Any recommendations on light boxes or full-spectrum bulbs? I need more sunshine, I can feel it.

1 comment:

karen joyce said...

all i know is that: the favorite lady doctor of oprah winfrey SWEARS by light boxes.. she said, "just GET ONE" if you suffer from SAD. in addition to this subject, she did speak of getting more calcium and vitamin D (like someone else i know -- you), moving energy and smiles from your heart to your "lower heart" (you know what)...and other such hoohah. the smiling from your heart thing works, apparently.

(i am feeling much better. thank you for your e-mail, I will respond. love you. back to ethics reading. my unethical action of distracting myself is hence complete).