How Awesome I Am

Noah: "We need more matzo. And cream cheese."
me: "Oh why did you have to say that! Oh my, cream cheese and seasoned salt on matzo!"

...

me: "Wait! I think we have some cream cheese!"
Noah: "Is it green?"
me: "I don't think so ... Go find out!"

Green and whithered, folks, not just green. Dessicated.

I grow mold like no one's business.

Is ginger beer chametz? I have a million limes and a hunger for Moscow Mules.

Though I have very helpful friends, let them all heed this advice anyway and make me Moscow Mules in spades!

"In fact, the Moscow Mule is the perfect drink for the not-so-helpful friend who insists on helping the host. Although I certainly wouldn't advocate it, even a child could mix 2 ounces vodka with an ounce of lime juice in a Collins glass filled with ice, and then top it with 4 ounces ginger beer, before tossing in a lime wedge. So assign the task of mixing this drink to those guests you'd like to keep out of your hair, as you enjoy serving hors d'oeuvres and milling around with the other guests."