This claim thing is official. The check for back-pay (for temporary partial disability pay) came in today, and wahoo, I am breathing a little better. And I talk to a doctor on Thursday! For the first time in two months! Unbelievable. I started this claim almost six months ago. But it is happening, and that is a blessing.
I don't think or talk blessings a lot these days--I'm not sure what I think about them--but today I am thinking about them in an essentialist manner, kind of like I know it when I see it. This claim is a blessing in that way. Also there's anger in a "I got hurt doing my job correctly" way, but leaving bitterness aside, I am focusing on knowing the medical bills are paid, and focusing on recovery.
Recovery ... which still means doing nothing, inexplicable pains in my arms, and, despite being careful, wearing elbow pads and lately wrist braces, being totally achy and done after six hours of work. I feel like I should be able to carry things with my arms and hands by now. And do dishes every day. And not be in pain after doing NOTHING AT ALL. But this is the nature of injury, I guess; I can tell my body is happiest when I am totally resting, relaxed, and on enough pain meds. I should probably meditate daily. Meditating is really hard, though. You would think that years of hippie training would make it easy. I am a high-anxiety hippie, though.
The other happy thing that came in the mail today is my book holder. I am in love. Back story: holding books open hurts my thumbs, palms and elbows, really my whole arm, and books are obviously something I will not go without, unlike, say, the act of vacuuming. (Thanks, Noah!) And a book holder is cheaper than a Roomba. Off to bed with my electric blanket and book holder, to swoon together and approach old age before my third decade.