04 February 2008

If I see a zombie bite you, I will shoot you in the head

My dad and I have been emailing this morning. Read on, read on.

MY DAD: We are fine...real foggy here this morning. I was in Danville IL on Friday...quick late trip for a demo...cold flat gray and desolate...reminded me of Fargo. If zombies ever live in rural Illinois...it might be there...so watch the eastern front and keep your powder dry.

ME: We're super-foggy too -- 1/4 mile visibility, and still people drive without their headlights on. My officemate Kyle was saying just this morning that it's zombie weather, and how he wished he had a shotgun, especially since we're in the corner on the second floor and have a good defensive position ... Made me think of you, as most apocalypses do.

MY DAD: For defensive use against zombies, a shotgun works well, but the concern is ammo capacity vs. number of zombies. A good 12 gauge pump with an 8 round extended magazine is a good choice. I would also recomend an AK-47 with several 30 round magazines.

Bottom line...any weapon beats no weapon, especially against zombies.

Be Prepared, my daughter, that's my motto.

Of course, I don't yet own a handgun, but I can change that within the week, and yes, this is what fog does to me and my family. Actually we have a natural attraction to apocalypses and rusty metal. My mom is fond of saying "When the revolution comes, you'll be glad your dad is a land surveyor, because people will always be trading land."

So he has job security. Too bad I won't. I guess I could knit people post-apocalyptic sweaters, socks, fingerless mitts.

Maybe I'll name my fiber company "Post-Apocalyptic Necessities." Doesn't sound as good as "The Dead Potato," though, does it?

1 comment:

Adam Deutsch said...

Can I call dibs on a post-apocalyptic hat? Maybe with matching mittens? You know, for later...