Dad, Do You Hate the Comment Function?

I'll copy his thoughts here:

Ways I'd Really Like to Kill Mold
1.) with vodka, both for me and for the mold--vodka's like bleach,
right?
....good idea....wouldn't it be expensive?

2.) with sound, I'm thinking death metal
3.) with love: "Can't we live in harmony? I love you in cheese!"

Good luck with that....evil does not respond too well to this approach.
4.) by growing mushrooms, to encourage jealousy and rivalry, with hopes
the mold would lose to the mushrooms in some kind of fungi-bacteria-all
tiny things war
5.) with ground-up penicillin scattered about
6.) by burning lavender-scented candles
7.) by wishing really hard

Always a good idea....
8.) by donating to NPR, in a kind of karmic way

Sure...NPR can use the money..
9.) by talking trash about it (not working yet)

Always take out your trash....
and 10.) ... by doing nothing at all

This method will NOT get rid of mold.

Thanks, Dad. What if I threaten it with bullets?