11 July 2008

My Bizarre Love of Humidity

It's bizarre.

But it arises especially in mid-summer, when the air conditioning in nearly every building is so cold, and I am dressed for not-cold, and so I go inside and get very cold, then go outside and breathe, "Ah -- humidity!"

Also, I'm in such a mold-busting regimen that I can't switch to a dry-skin-care regimen now. So humidity it is. And humidity is nostalgic for me. I haven't gone that far out of the Midwest for that long, but every time I leave and my skin dries out, I don't know what to do ...

Another thing in the not-knowing-what-to-do category: I made four friends at work, two are gone (and I had another pre-work friend who is still a post-work friend, Ms. L), another is leaving within the calendar year, and I ... I remain. I'm not really friends with my coworkers, not anti either, but not friends ... I see knitting and reading on breaks in my future. Also the possibility of taking walks (in the humid air) on my breaks.

Is it too silly to buy this blouse with birthday money? I'm leaning towards no, not too silly, for it is a blouse I dreamed of for weeks and then saw on Anthropologie. So? the buying?

I keep thinking about dreams, intelligence, intuition, and learned behavior today. Do less intelligent people (and how to measure intelligence is enough of an issue) exhibit less intuition? More? Do higher intelligence and intuition collide at some point negatively, where the higher intelligence starts prohibiting the intuition because of too much analytical ability? And dreams -- do less intelligent people have less intelligent dreams? How can that be compared?

And what if a person possesses, however this happens, higher intelligence, but through learned behavior, begins to lose that intelligence? Can we make ourselves dumber, or do we just act dumber? Do you lose intelligence if you don't use it? I've experienced the loss of old memories when new knowledge had to take its place (the saddest example is rosters of Rhet students and childhood memories) -- is it like that, limited somehow? Or depreciating -- are those memories worth as much, as full (I won't say accurate) as they used to be?

Outside of the chemical death of brain cells, can I lose intelligence?

I'm thinking of all this because I'm getting ready to start writing, making, and designing in some kind of stricter way, some way that says "this is an act that is worth your time, and if you don't do it, it will fade." Because I haven't been able to keep a pot on the wheel yet, and that's so disheartening that I stopped trying for nearly a month. And I'm a bit worried that I'm losing some of that intelligence, that memory, and also that I can be taught to not value that intelligence in myself and let it go.


Laura said...

nice blouse. scary thoughts. go touch some clay!!!!!!!!!

Kyle said...

work friends. we have not abandoned you. we merely go ahead of you to make the way easier. to clear a path, if you will.

you will not forget the important things. you will relearn what you need to with time. and if you forget something, you will have forgotten it, so you won't even miss it.

and yes. buy the blouse. obviously.